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What would I do in life if
money wasn’t an issue? I'm glad you asked! I would probably choose to be a
ceramicist, a painter, a sculptor, a furniture designer, a goldsmith, a glass
blower, a restorer, a writer... the list is probably endless. In this case, the
question should be: "what would I do if money and time weren’t an
issue".
Working with clay has always been my biggest passion, but every
now and then I have to do something else. Last time I took a break from pottery
was a few years ago when I started my college studies of German Literature and
Language and the History of Arts. Even though I enjoyed studying again
immensely, I often wondered if I should be more focused on doing one thing –
ceramics. Since I have so many different interests, I am also curious if I can
say that ceramics is truly my calling.
Just because a person is talented in
doing ceramics it doesn’t mean that ceramics is their calling. What if one has
a calling for something that one doesn’t have talent for (which makes the whole
thing even more difficult of course)? It is not my intention to start an
existential discussion about the meaning of life. However, there are some
questions that are bothering me a lot lately. How do you know that you are
doing the right thing, have the right job or the right partner? Is this life
giving us a chance to do something we are good at? Are we actually using our
innate potential to do so?
I think the answer is quite simple. We owe ourselves
to be happy. We owe ourselves to grow. We owe ourselves to do what we love. So
I have decided that, as long as I have a chance to be creative and to work with
my hands, I can call myself a lucky and a happy person. I don’t know if
ceramics is my calling but creativity certainly is.
This past year I've also been having the kind of existential thoughts you're describing, Danijela. I started questioning everything—my partner, my life as a stranger in this country, my work and general direction in life, my whole identity. The loss of my sense of direction didn't become better by consuming "motivational" books and podcasts: lots of talk about goals, deadlines and maximising one's potential that only made me feel more like a failure.
ReplyDeleteSomehow the realisation of age (I'm 48), death, pain and all that is unfair and gratuitously evil (like politics, and certain diseases) in life has made me accept that setting up fixed goals will only lead to suffering and a continuous sense of inadequacy. Instead, I now think of myself as being on my way in a certain direction, but in my own pace and with possible detours.
I think you shouldn't feel anxious about sometimes making a turn away from ceramics, for example, because you can always return to it when the time and opportunity is right. If it's your passion, you'll find your way back to the track. Or maybe you discover another track in the meantime. Whatever you do, I'm sure you're being creative ;-)
Dear Melker,
Deletethank you for your kind words. I guess, it is in the nature of the mankind to requestion their existance every now and then. I just came home from Croatia few days ago. I think it was a mixure of visiting my homeland and having my arm broken that made me think about my life.
Greetigns from the Alps
Danijela